I USED TO LOVE HER
I used to love her.
No, i'm not talking about my recent break-up (yes, technically i also 'used' to love her, but no, i'm not writing about that devil right now).
First time i saw her when she's wearing red baju kurung, walk in front of us to meet her friend (which also my friend). Not actually 'fell in love' during that time, but i find her face quite attractive. She don't remember that i sat in front of her, of course, who did? But i do remember her.
I'm not seeing her for quite some times. Then, my friend manage to introduce her to me, properly. At uptown. She's wearing black long sleeves t-shirt. She had her hair short, her smile and her laugh. Then i fell in love.
And i used to love her.
I come to a terms that it is impossible to win her heart. Then, slowly and quite painfully, i manage to forget how her face used to be in my mind for the whole weeks. I never told her the truth actually, that, once upon a time, she was my beautiful angel that light my darkest life. I put that feelings away rather than losing a nice and unique friendship with her.
The recent break-ups with my...ehemm, you-know-who brings us to __________. Along with mamak's teh o ais, we had quite heavy chat about 1- The break-ups and 2- her heart.
After a few hours listening to her, i've discover how her heart tightly shut for any men to enter. She had her reasons and we had a few argument. But after a while, i deeply understand why she choose to cut herself away from any men who came to her. She doesn't want to hurt anyone. More importantly, she doesn't want to get hurt.
Spending time with her, i see a happy go lucky lady, who manage to smile in any occasion. Despite 'single' status, she manage to live, if i may speak, happier than me. In some weird ways, she's a very interesting and special woman i ever know.
If i'm going to write a fiction based on my life, it is not all my ex's that played major character in it. It is her. Of course, there will be my future queen and err...perhaps Elyana on atop of my heart.
She definitely had her place in my fiction. A very significant role. A role worth remembered.
And i wish that she will find her long-lost love one day, if not so soon.
Or at least find her own happiness, as i will watch from such distance, and smiling gladly to her.
Thank You ms _ _ _ _ for accidentally bringing colours into my life.
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